I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
