I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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