So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
BRING THE BAGELS
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
