Christians are straight up FREAKS
I faked an abortion last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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