Your face is a jimmy john
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
