This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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