I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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