youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
