yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
