Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
