At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
