Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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