I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
