it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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