TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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