dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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