You can't special order awesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
