Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
