I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
