between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
