Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
