i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
