i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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