This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
