if i can run in heels then i can drive
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
