You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
