This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
