The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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