i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
