This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
