I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
