I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize