So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
