There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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