no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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