just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
