Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
