Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Randomize
