I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
