He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
