You made me cry and you don't even care
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
