I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
