hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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