My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
