so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
