I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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