i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
