So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
