found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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