I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
