It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
