Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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