Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
