Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...

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(516): View more from New York

You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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(812): View more from Indiana

So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant

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(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.

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(517): View more from Michigan

On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened

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(208): View more from Idaho

MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!

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