Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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