Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
