why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
