Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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