We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She bit a glass in half.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize