Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
