it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
