I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
