so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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